orange baby

busy season at work is going pretty well. this time last year i was still very new to the job and it was a total nightmare. now i'm calm and have more time to do things outside of work like plan thanksgiving and my birthday and most exciting, foster a doggie!

max and i saved this little dog from death at the shelter uptown. i named her georgie (georgina) and i sing to her all about being orange. she is around a year and a half and already had puppies! at least once!

so far her favorite things are stealing food and pigging out, her stuffed squeak toy, escaping, fetal position and lying on her back and deftly holding things above her head like an otter.she is being fixed at max's vet and then coming back to me. we have to socialize her with judas some more before we can assess if they can live together.

we took her in on halloween which is around the time we think judas was born. now he is one! i made him a birthday cake out of meatloaf and pillsbury biscuit layers. he was a little afraid of the candle at first. but then of course, he scarfed.

a month with new camera phone

cream pie to face * deli cat * max/me/home * me/dog run/tompkins sq * cuddley dog/home * lobby/work * kruger/times sq *
kat/bday/beer garden/astoria * judas/home * lobster/me/celia's housewarming * me/taxi/work * puppy with fawn legs * valentine's bear * max/me/home * pretty yellow celia/stuy town * kitchen island * me/work * judas/home * max/me/sutton place * boxer/courtyard/work * rose teddy! * me/home * mr softie/union sq * judas/home * me/celia/7train

work has been craze. it's the busy season. this means my mistakes are even more frequent and closer together. kind of like contractions! could explain my recent massive weight gain.

i haven't been doing much of anything lately, besides working and watching law and order marathons. i like repetition. its just part of what makes me SO annoying.

vomit findings

this sketch fell out of one of my drawers. i made it the summer i was 19 or 20 while working as a receptionist.

vomiting tomato.

3:10 to plus size

last nite max and i saw 3:10 to yuma at union square. i was starved for dinner so i paid $14 for a hot dog and nachos and ate all plus two packs of relish. i may have eaten a cupcake when i got home but i'm not positive. nothing under 150000000000 grams of fat registers anymore.

the movie was excellent. christian bale had a wooden leg. i'm a little hazy on the first fifteen minutes of the movie because i was fantasizing about christian bale and his wooden leg. i was questioning myself about if it made me want to do him even more. he looked like he probably hadnt had a really insane lay in a while.

this is what i looked at for eleven hours at work today.

last nite celia and i finally saw the rat movie before it closed. it was charming! i live with mice so i feel like it really spoke to me.


my mouse is ALWAYS hanging out by/in the stove. i have pretty much stopped using it.

my new only friend

my vacation comes to a weepy close and im still very nervous about returning to work. why i haven't been on a klonopin IV since birth is up for debate.

we had fun in CT but it got cold and rainy after being there for just one day. this sort of deflated the excitment of bringing the bicycles and i guess made the hassle of attaching and detaching (i lost the key) the car bike rack a waste of time. a nice persian man had helped me and my mom attach the rack and some weirdo older guitarist guy in my building let me into his apartment to borrow tape to secure it. both neighborly actions made me feel kind of good though the first was tainted when the persian man turned to invite me to the restaurant he owns while i was viciously picking my nose with my newly painted acrylics. if he's any degree of hygenic the sight of me tearing through a meal with the offending fingernails will disgust him.

i am in a depression because im lonely and spent every nite since we got back except thursday alone in the apartment. i've declared the below character my new "only friend" because there's no human physically around.




when i told my friend adam that because of the shape of the claws the crab fits perfectly around a neck he said, "i name him cuddles."
i love adam and i love cuddles.

goodnite.

vacation countdown

i'm trying to tie up loose ends at work before friday. i am lazy and unmotivated so there are always alot of loose ends. i often find stacks of bills i never sent out and hide them until eventually i throw them in the trash. tomorrow my boss and i have a super huge wedding that we are working on together. i got a really big tip in advance that can be my vacation money.

i haven't dont a single summery thing yet and it's almost September. yesterday i bought a bike rack for my moms car to use when max and i drive to CT on sunday. super psyched. riding bikes to the beach and thru town, bbqing, drinking on the deck, seafood shacks, dairy queen WHEEEE. i will be tan and have long fake pink nails, hopefully with palm trees on them.

on an unrelated note, last nite we rode our bikes over the wburg bridge and it was AWFUL how difficult it was for me. i had been expecting a very steep but short incline that would level out quickly. it was more like a slow, continual, painful death incline. the tops of my thighs were burning and i felt like i wasn't even getting anywhere. i was barely passing pedestrians at some points. i made it back obviously, but i felt like a douche. though i am not looking forward to the physical agony i really want to do it again until i improve. and next time maybe we'll stop at capones, get faced, eat pizza, and ride the L home.

magnaflage

this morning kathleen took the train in from fort greene. we rode my new bikes along the east river, mostly side by side romantic style. we got some food at the seaport and a lemonade from one of those giant wooden barrels. the ice cream stand was out of soft serve however and i never got my mr softee the other day either!

i am super excited to have the bikes but am experiencing the typical frustration with storing them. they're currently taking up the only remaining floorspace in my apartment but i'm reluctant to purchase locks and put them on the street. any research i've done tells me it's only a matter of time before they get jacked despite being locked and pieces of crap that cost $53.


me and one of the two new bikes. they are twins. max hates that and wants to paint his another color.

tiny bladder

we were at the park for two hours and within 5 minutes of being home judas peed on top of the already peed on comforter that i threw by the door earlier. about two or three hours later he peed on the bathroom floor while i was putting on eyeliner. he is obviously miserable here and is hoping to drown himself in his own pee accidents. later on i fed him alot of beef jerky and danced for him and he liked me me again. he put his head under my tube dress. love!

pet accident

good morning! how are you all feeling? my mom says its a beautiful day outside. i am in a pretty excellent mood despite a slight hangover. went to manitobas with max last nite for early drinks, got mildly wastoid and was in bed by 11!

max's dog took a huge pee on my bed. i think it was the hugest pee i have ever seen him take. he is being pretty destructive. in fifteen minutes we will be at the dog park and he will be sooo happy.

i think i will get mr. softie if i can find him!



puppy and puppy's bear

Blogwarts

i am sitting at work waiting for a client to show up who clearly has no respect for summer fridays. he is a total douchebag with acne scars.

max is missing. he maybe left his phone somewhere or got arrested or RIP'd :(
it makes for a very lame day at work with no text buddy.

douchebag with acne scars showed up. got to go!

is anyone going out tonite?

grand opening of my new internet presence

welcome! if we have never met you can review my old internet presence here, http://www.badeyetwins.com/dee/deirdre.html

it's been a couple years since that went up so let me get you up to speed. i am now- .10x more fat, 10x more haggard and 100x more equipped to organize your company's totally boring investor relations conference and cocktail party. prepare to be blown lightly away.